“Am I doing this right?”

“Only the madman is absolutely sure.“

-Robert Anton Wilson
self-described agnostic mystic

Certainty has run rampant.

I grew up an evangelical Christian. Like many others, my church was certain of ‘God’s plan’ yet proclaimed His ways ‘unknowable’. After graduating high school I could no longer deny this contradiction; I was out.

After questioning God’s authority, Lucifer was out, too.

I packed my spiritual bags and went elsewhere. I let science and its certainty of the material world soothe me awhile. But I still desired to explore that ‘unknowable’ aspect of the universe. Occultism & magick soon held my attention.

Conversely, I’ve always been a pop culture fanatic. As an only child, television was a great friend of mine; as a child of divorced parents, days spent with my Dad were days spent watching horror movies; as a child of the 1990s, sleepovers often centered around a Sega Genesis or a Sony PlayStation.

And as a child of the Belmonts, Simon had to defeat Count Dracula of Castlevania.

It seems stories, in all their form, have held me captive as long as I can remember. Be it Batman comics or Bewitched reruns, fiction is a tool for communication across time & space; fiction is, at its best, magick.

Fake Ritual’s mission is to demystify the occult by elevating pop culture to a mystical level. We’ll explore the lines connecting the ‘hidden secrets’ of the universe to the mass media maelstrom we navigate daily.

King Mob’s mission is to defeat the Archons of the Outer Church, our psychic oppressors.

All these wet-blanket religious leaders would have us believe pop culture & the occult are tools of the Devil. Let’s dabble in both. We may not find answers, but we’re sure to ask interesting questions.

“Anyways, it sure beats the Hell out of going to church.”

-Lucas Robert Sloppy
self-described pop alchemist